The Freedom to Lead: A Story of Letting Go, Gaining Confidence, and Finding Your Leadership Voice

“Leadership is not about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to ask the right questions, the humility to learn from others, and the discipline to use the right frameworks that work.”

Atip Muangsuwan
CEO Coach and Coach Supervisor

She had been a manager for exactly thirty-one days.

Not that Susan was counting. But when you’ve spent years as an individual contributor—someone who executes and delivers—and suddenly you’re the one responsible for everything and everyone, every day feels like a lifetime.

“I don’t have high self-confidence in this new role,” she told me during our first coaching session. “Perhaps I overthink about it, and that gives me pressure. I’ve pressured myself.“

Susan had just been promoted from individual contributor to manager. On paper, it was a step up—a recognition of her performance, her dedication, her potential. But inside, she was wrestling with a fear that many new managers know all too well: the fear of failing her team and failing her boss.

She was terrified of micromanaging her subordinates. She was terrified of not meeting her manager’s expectations. And somewhere in between those two fears, she had lost sight of who she was as a self-leader.

This was a pro-bono coaching session—part of the volunteer coaching I’ve been contributing to the world from time to time. And in that session, Susan and I did discover something profound: leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about having the right frameworks to find them.

The Overthinking Trap

“What makes you feel that you lack self-confidence?” I asked.

Susan took a breath. “It’s this new role. I overthink it, and that makes me overly concerned. I’ll have to lead this new team by myself, and I don’t know how to work this new role going forward. How to lead my team, and how to meet the expectations of my boss.“

I’ve heard this before. So many times, in fact, that I’ve come to recognize it as one of the most common—and most painful—transition points in a leader’s journey.

The leap from “doing the work” to “leading the people who do the work” is one of the hardest transitions in any career. You go from being evaluated on your own output to being evaluated on the output of others. You go from having control over your own results to having to trust others to deliver. And for many new managers, that loss of control feels terrifying.

But here’s the truth that Susan—and every new manager—needs to hear:

Leadership isn’t about control. It’s about trust.

And trust isn’t something you demand. It’s something you earn through the systems you put in place and the relationships you build.

The One Minute Manager: A Framework for Freedom

“That’s alright,” I told Susan. “May I share with you a framework you can use? It’s called ‘The One Minute Manager.’“

The book, written by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson, has sold millions of copies worldwide for a simple reason: it works. The framework distills effective management into three simple, actionable components:

1. Set Goals

“You set goals or KPIs with your subordinates,” I explained. “The key is—set goals with them, so they feel ownership and accountability.“

This is the foundation. When people have a say in their own goals, they don’t just follow instructions—they take responsibility and ownership. They become invested. They care.

I suggested Susan establish both team goals and individual goals for each person. “So, each person is responsible for their individual goals as well as the team goals,” I said. “That way, everyone understands how their work connects to the bigger picture.“

2. Give Praises

“You give praises or compliments to your subordinates when they did a good job,” I continued. “Praise people when they did something well—spontaneous and on the spot. Don’t wait or defer your praises. Do it immediately with sincerity and authenticity. Don’t fake it, because people can tell the difference.“

This is what Blanchard calls “One Minute Praisings”—catching people doing something right and acknowledging it right away. It’s the simplest form of positive feedback, and it’s astonishingly powerful. When people know what they’re doing well, they do more of it.

3. Give Reprimands

“You give a reprimand to your subordinates when they did something wrong or unacceptable,” I said. “Do it in private, like a one-on-one meeting. It’s a way to give people constructive feedback for them to improve themselves.“

Blanchard calls these “One Minute Reprimands”—addressing problems quickly, privately, and with the goal of helping people grow. The key is to separate the behavior from the person. You’re not attacking them; you’re helping them improve.

Why This Works

The brilliance of the One Minute Manager framework is that it gives you a structure for leading without hovering.

Think about it. When your subordinates know their goals, they don’t need you to tell them what to do every day. When they receive immediate praise for good work, they’re motivated to keep performing. And when they receive private, constructive feedback on their mistakes, they learn and grow without feeling publicly shamed.

It’s a system that creates autonomy, accountability, and continuous improvement.

Susan’s eyes lit up. “So, I can give my team freedom to work,” she said, “without micromanaging them.“

“Exactly,” I replied. “You can use this approach with follow-up and follow-thru techniques like weekly or bi-weekly meetings. Your subordinates won’t feel like you’re micromanaging them because the structure is clear, consistent, and collaborative.“

Beyond the Team: The EE-FI Leadership Model

But Susan had another concern. One that, in many ways, was even more pressing.

“How do I meet—or even exceed—my manager’s expectations?” she asked.

This is the question that keeps new managers up at night. You’re trying to figure out how to lead your team, and simultaneously, you’re trying to figure out how to impress the person who’s watching you.

I smiled. “I’d like to share with you my own proudly invented framework,” I said. “I call it the EE-FI Leadership Model.“

The EE-FI Model stands for Engage, Empathize, Fulfill, Influence. It’s a service-oriented approach to building trust and driving results through relationship and understanding. And it works with anyone—your subordinates, your peers, your boss, and anyone else you want to influence.

E: Engage

“You engage with your manager frequently and regularly,” I explained. “Why engage? To build a good relationship with her and to empathize with her.“

Engagement isn’t about formal meetings or status reports. It’s about consistent, meaningful dialogue. It’s about being present, listening actively, and showing up. Don’t wait for problems to come—initiate conversations proactively.

E: Empathize

“You engage to empathize,” I continued. “You seek to understand her needs, motivations, expectations, and fears. Why empathize? To fulfill her needs or expectations.“

This is where the magic happens. You can’t solve a problem you don’t fully understand. Empathy reveals the “why” behind actions and resistance. When you truly understand what your manager cares about—what keeps her up at night, what she’s trying to achieve—you can align your work accordingly.

F: Fulfill

“You empathize in order to fulfill her needs or expectations,” I said.

This is the action step. Once you understand what someone needs, you work to accommodate those needs. You deliver results that matter to them. You solve problems they care about. You become the person who makes their life easier.

I: Influence

“If you can do these three steps,” I concluded, “you’ll naturally and automatically be able to influence her.“

Influence isn’t something you demand. It’s something you earn. When you’ve engaged, empathized, and fulfilled, influence follows naturally. You become someone your manager trusts, values, and listens to.

The Insights That Changed Everything

By the end of our session, Susan had transformed.

Not because I had given her magic answers—but because I had given her frameworks that she could use to find her own answers.

Here are the insights she walked away with:

1. She had the knowledge; she just lacked confidence.

“I’ve known the way,” she realized, “but I just lack my self-confidence.“

This is so common among new leaders. They know what to do—they just don’t trust themselves to do it. The solution isn’t more knowledge. It’s more practice, more feedback, and more self-compassion.

2. She needed to boost her confidence to lead her team and meet her boss’s expectations.

Confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you build through action. Every time you apply a framework, every time you have a difficult conversation, every time you trust your team to deliver—you’re building confidence.

3. She learned how to adjust and adapt approaches to fit real situations.

Frameworks are guides, not rules. The One Minute Manager and the EE-FI Model are tools—and like any tools, they need to be used with judgment and flexibility.

The Homework

Before we ended our session, Susan committed to two action steps:

First: She would start applying what she learned immediately—with her subordinates and her manager.

Second: She would share her progress and results in our second coaching session.

I could see the shift in her energy. The fear was still there—it doesn’t disappear overnight—but it was no longer in control. She had a plan. She had frameworks. She had a path forward.

The One-Sentence Wisdom

At the end of every coaching session, I ask my clients to summarize what they’ve learned in one concise sentence.

Susan thought for a moment. “Know oneself and know others,” she said.

I nodded. “Be confident and start engaging,” I added.

And in one word?

“Confidence,” she said. “I need to have self-confidence to lead.“

I smiled. “Self-awareness,” I added. “That’s the first step of self-confidence.“

A Final Reflection

Leadership is not about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to ask the right questions, the humility to learn from others, and the discipline to use the right frameworks that work.

Susan’s story is your story if you’ve ever felt like an imposter in a new role. If you’ve ever worried about micromanaging your team. If you’ve ever lain awake at night wondering if you’re meeting your boss’s expectations.

The good news is this: you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

The One Minute Manager framework gives you a simple, proven structure for leading your team with clarity and trust. The EE-FI Leadership Model gives you a relationship-based approach to building influence with anyone—your boss, your peers, your team.

And coaching gives you a safe space to explore, experiment, and grow.

As I’ve learned from coaching leaders like Susan, the most powerful transformation happens when you stop trying to be the perfect leader and start being the authentic leader—the one who engages, empathizes, fulfills, and influences through genuine connection.

That’s the kind of leadership that goes beyond authority. That’s the kind of leadership that changes everything.

If you need help boosting your self-confidence in your new and bigger role, let’s connect!

About Atip Muangsuwan: Atip Muangsuwan is a CEO Coach and Coach Supervisor who has been contributing pro-bono coaching to the world from time to time. He is the creator of the EE-FI Leadership Model and a passionate advocate for service-oriented leadership.