Keep Him or Cut Him Loose? The 2 Frameworks for Assisting the Leader to Make the Toughest Call

“When you have gained such clarity and confidence, your difficult conversations and decisions would suddenly become the easy ones for you.”

Atip Muangsuwan
CEO Coach and Coach Supervisor

There’s a moment every leader dreads.

The knock on the door. The email that lands in your inbox with a subject line that makes your stomach tighten. The direct report who asks for “a quick word” — and you already know it’s not going to be quick, and it’s not going to be easy.

For Tom, a global IT executive overseeing operations across APAC region, that moment arrived on a Monday morning. His operations manager — a quiet, introverted specialist who kept the machinery running — had just submitted his resignation.

Unhappy with the vendor, the note said. Time to move on.

Simple words. Devastating implications.

Tom had a decision to make, and he had to make it fast. Let this talented but struggling manager go? Or fight to keep him — and risk the same problems resurfacing months later?

The answer wasn’t in the data. It was in the difficult conversation.

The Problem with “Just Talking”

Tom knew he needed to have a difficult conversation. But here’s what kept him up at night: his subordinate was introverted, guarded, and notoriously hard to read. Every previous attempt to get him to open up had hit a wall.

How do you get someone to share what they’re really thinking when they’ve built their entire professional identity around keeping things close to the chest?

Tom had tried the direct approach. He’d tried the gentle approach. Nothing worked.

What he hadn't tried was a framework — a structured way of approaching the conversation that would create psychological safety while still getting to the truth.

That’s when we introduced him to the LAR-SE Model.

The LAR-SE Model: A Blueprint for Breakthrough Conversations

Most leaders think they’re good listeners. Most leaders are wrong.

They listen just enough to formulate their response. They’re not listening to understand — they’re waiting to speak.

The LAR-SE Model changes that. It’s a five-step framework I’ve developed over the years of coaching global executives, and it transforms ordinary conversations into breakthrough dialogues.

Here’s how it works:

L — Listen Actively and Deeply

Not surface listening. Not nodding while mentally drafting your rebuttal. Deep listening — the kind that seeks to understand the other person’s psychology; i.e. feelings, perceptions, assumptions, needs, expectations, beliefs, values, motivations, pain points, concerns, worries, fears, etc.

A — Ask Powerful Questions

Questions are the engine of discovery. They uncover what lies beneath the surface. They evoke self-awareness in the other person. Ask to understand their psychology.

R — Reflect Back

Paraphrase what you’ve heard. Clarify. Make sure you understand before you move forward. Reflect back to understand their psychology.

S — Share Your Own Perspective

This is where vulnerability enters the room. Share your data, your feedback, your thoughts, your fears. Show your humanity. When you share yourself, you give the other person permission to share themselves in return. This is where you create mutual understanding between you and them.

E — Empower or Encourage

Empower when you’re coaching. Encourage when you’re listening. The goal is always the same: get them to talk more, so you can understand them more.

Because listening more is understanding more.

Building Trust Before the Difficult Conversations

Here’s something most leadership articles won’t tell you: frameworks don’t work without trust.

The LAR-SE Model is powerful — but it’s most effective when the other person trusts you. Tom had to build rapport with his subordinate long before they could have the real conversation. That meant showing up consistently, following through on promises, and demonstrating that he genuinely cared about the person, not just the performance.

Trust isn’t built in a single conversation. It’s built in the thousands of small moments that precede it. Fortunately, Tom had been building trust with his subordinate for years.

The CA-BAC Framework: Building a Winning Team

But here’s the question Tom really needed answered: Should he keep this person or let him go?

That’s where the CA-BAC Winning Team Framework comes in.

C — Common Goals: Does every team member share the same team goals?

A — Alignment: Is there alignment in mindset, beliefs, strategies, and behaviors?

B — Bond: Is there a strong team bond — one team, one goal?

A — Accountability: Does each member have both personal and team accountability?

C — Capabilities: Does each member have the individual capabilities that multiply into team capabilities?

Tom used this framework to measure his operations manager against the team’s standards. Was he a good team player? If not, could he change and adapt?

If he can’t or won’t change, perhaps it’s time to get a new player on the team.

The Decision: Keep or Let Go?

After applying the LAR-SE Model in the conversation — listening deeply, asking powerful questions, reflecting back what he heard, sharing his own perspective, and encouraging his subordinate to open up — Tom gained something invaluable: clarity.

He now understood his subordinate’s true motivations, fears, and frustrations. He understood why the vendor relationship had soured and what role the manager had played in it. He understood whether this person was willing to adapt and grow — or whether he was already checked out.

With that clarity came two clear options:

Option 1: Let him go. If he’s not willing to play by Tom’s rules, it’s time to part ways.

Option 2: Keep him — but with conditions. Tom would need to mentor and coach him more closely, set explicit expectations, and follow up regularly and frequently. And if Tom couldn’t commit to those action steps, Option 1 was the only honest choice.

The One-Sentence Summary That Changed Everything

At the end of our coaching session, Tom summarized his takeaway in a single sentence:

“Using LAR-SE for holding difficult conversations, and using CA-BAC for building my high trust, high performing team.”

And I offered him a reframe that shifted his entire perspective:

“When your ultimate goal is to build a high trust, high performing team, the conversations you’ll hold with your subordinate won’t be difficult after all.”

Because here’s the truth: conversations become difficult when we’re uncertain about what we want. When we know our goal — building a winning team — and we have the frameworks to get there, the fear dissolves.

What’s left is just communication. Just clarity. Just leadership.

A Final Reflection

Tom walked out of that coaching session feeling something he hadn’t felt in weeks: confidence. Confidence that he had the tools to handle that difficult conversation and any future difficult conversations in his life! Confidence that he could make the right decision. Confidence that he was building something worth building — a high trust, high performing team.

He held the difficult conversation the next day. He made his decision based on what he learned. And he began applying the CA-BAC Framework as a winning roadmap for his team’s future.

The conversation that changed everything wasn’t difficult after all.

It was just necessary.

If Tom’s story resonates with you, I’d like to invite you to explore your story with me. Who knows, your difficult conversations, your decision-making perspectives, and your leadership skills might just be transformed, too.

About Atip Muangsuwan: Atip is an executive leadership coach who specializes in helping high-achieving leaders overcome internal barriers to unlock their full potential and drive organizational success. Through a blend of strategic frameworks and profound personal insights, he empowers leaders in transforming their mindsets, emotional states, and behaviors for lasting impact.