Inclusive Leadership: Why Inclusive Leaders Stop Asking for Support and Start Giving It

“Treat people like you want to be treated.” This is the heart and soul of inclusive leadership!”

Atip Muangsuwan
CEO Coach and Coach Supervisor

In the corner offices of global conglomerates, there is a secret loneliness that most leadership books refuse to acknowledge. You can have the title of “Leader” and the authority of “CEO,” but if the stakeholders in the other silos—the finance department, the operations team, the regional VPs—don’t truly support you, you aren’t leading. You are just a very well-paid person walking through a very quiet hallway.

I recently sat down with a leader I’ll call “Robert.” Robert runs a significant department of a global company. He isn’t failing. Far from it. On a scale of one to ten, he rated the cross-departmental support he currently receives as an eight. Most people would kill for an eight.

But Robert isn’t most people. He is a student of mastery. He felt the missing dots. He felt the slight friction in collaboration. He wanted a ten out of ten.

He came to me with a specific goal: How do I include people in my initiatives so that I get their full support without having to push a boulder uphill every time?

We dissected his problem, and we found the missing link. It wasn’t a strategy issue. It was a sequencing issue.

The Golden Rule of Inclusion

We have all heard the old adage: “Treat people like you want to be treated.”

Robert realized he had been doing the opposite. He was waiting for the other department heads to include him, to respect his budget, or to care about his KPIs. He was waiting for them to make him a VIP.

Here is the brutal truth we uncovered: Inclusive leaders are not the ones who wait for a seat at the table. They are the ones who build the table.

If you want a 10 out of 10 in support, you cannot sit in your office and ask, “Why aren’t they helping me?” You have to walk out and ask, “What would it look like for them to feel like my most important partner?”

The “EE-FI” Shift

Robert needed a mechanism to stop feeling frustrated and start feeling connected. We used what I call the EE-FI Leadership Model.

To get the support you need, you must first give the attention they deserve. You cannot skip this step.

• E – Engage:Stop talking about your own goals. Start asking about their pain points.
• E – Empathize:Stop judging their lack of support as laziness or politics. Understand the pressure they are under.
• F – Fulfill:Ask yourself the million-dollar question: “How can I fulfill their needs before asking them to fulfill mine?”
• I – Influence:Once they feel served, you invite them into your circle of influence.

Storifying Robert’s Journey

When Robert left our one-on-one coaching session, he stopped being a leader who needed support and started becoming an Inclusive Leader.

He looked at his stakeholder map. He didn’t see “obstacles.” He saw potential VIPs. He made a list of every department head whose support he needed for the next quarter.

Then, he did something radical. He didn’t ask them for anything.

Instead, he scheduled “listening sessions.” He applied the EE-FI model. He asked them:

• What is your biggest challenge right now?
• Where are your missing dots?
• How can my department make your life easier?

He treated them like VIPs at a gala—not like beggars at a gate. He included them first.

The Law of Reciprocity in Leadership

What happened next is predictable, yet magic. Because Robert reached out to include them, the law of reciprocity kicked in. The other leaders felt seen. They felt like insiders, not outsiders.

Within weeks, the “missing dots” began to connect themselves. When Robert finally asked for support for his own initiative, the response wasn’t, “Let me check my bandwidth.” It was, “Robert helped me last month. I’ve got his back.”

That is the difference between an 8 and a 10.

An 8 relies on transactional authority. A 10 relies on relational inclusion.

Your Action Plan (To become an inclusive leader)

If you are a leader like Robert—stuck at a solid 8 but hungry for a 10—here is your homework. Do not pass go until you do this:

1. Identify the Missing Dots:List every key stakeholder who hasn’t fully bought in. These are your future VIPs.
2. Apply EE-FI Before You Speak:Go to them with zero agenda. Engage with their world. Empathize with their struggle. Ask yourself, “How can I win for them first?”
3. Connect the Dots:Once you have fulfilled a need for them, then share your vision. The door will be wide open.

The One-Sentence Summary

Robert came in thinking Inclusion was just another soft skill he would need to learn as an effective leader.

He left the coaching session realizing Inclusion is the ultimate competitive advantage.

Inclusive leadership is critical to achieve organizational goals. But remember: Include people first, then they’ll include you.

Stop asking for support in the first place. Start treating them like VIPs. It is the oldest rule in the book, but the successful leaders are the ones who actually follow it.

“Treat people like you want to be treated.” This is the heart and soul of inclusive leadership!

If you aspire to become an inclusive leader or any other kinds of leaders, then let’s include me in your next conversations.

About Atip Muangsuwan: Atip is an executive leadership coach who specializes in helping high-achieving leaders overcome internal barriers to unlock their full potential and drive organizational success. Through a blend of strategic frameworks and profound personal insights, he empowers leaders in transforming their mindsets, emotional states, and behaviors for lasting impact.