The Art of Asking for Anything You Want: The Aladdin’s Secret

“Asking is the bridge between desire and reality. Ask as if you could not fail.”

Atip Muangsuwan
CEO Coach and Coach Supervisor

Have you ever watched an opportunity pass you by, simply because you didn’t speak up? Many of us, especially women navigating the complexities of career advancement, hesitate to voice our desires – a promotion, a challenging project, a key learning opportunity. We might watch colleagues seemingly breeze ahead, wondering how they do it. Often, the critical difference isn’t just skill or luck; it’s the art of asking.

Research and experience show a persistent trend: women, on average, are promoted more slowly than men. A significant factor? A reluctance to explicitly ask for what they want and deserve. Men often approach requests with a different baseline expectation. But here’s the empowering truth: Asking is a skill anyone can master, and it’s fundamental to accelerating your career growth, achieving your learning goals, and seizing the opportunities you crave.

Why Mastering “The Ask” is Non-Negotiable:

• Confidence Catalyst: Learning to ask directly builds profound self-assurance.
• Career Accelerator: Explicitly requesting promotions, opportunities, or top ratings is essential for progression. Waiting silently rarely works.
• Goal Achievement Engine: Whether it’s a new skill, a leadership role, or a salary increase, asking is the bridge between desire and reality.
• Leveling the Field: By embracing the ask, we actively challenge the status quo and claim our space.

The Aladdin’s Secret: Key Insights for Powerful Asking

Think of Aladdin and his lamp. The magic wasn’t just in the lamp; it was activated by the courage to rub it and make a wish. Asking is your rub. Here’s how to channel that power:

1. Silence the Hesitation, Embrace the Ask: The biggest barrier is often internal. Silence guarantees a “no.” Remember: If you ask, you have at least a 50% chance of success. If you don’t ask, your chance is exactly 0%. Don’t let fear of rejection or the “what ifs” hold you back from the “what could be.”
   • Example: Imagine a talented designer yearning to lead a major campaign. She waits, hoping her boss notices her potential. Months pass, the project is assigned to someone else who actively expressed interest. The opportunity vanished without a whisper.
2. Ask with Unshakeable Confidence, Belief, and Faith: How you ask is as important as what you ask. Project conviction in your value and the legitimacy of your request. Believe deeply that you deserve it and that receiving it is possible. Your energy sets the tone.
   • Contrast: “Um, I was wondering, maybe if it’s not too much trouble, could I possibly be considered for…” vs. “I’m ready for the next challenge and believe I’m the ideal candidate for the Project Lead role. I’d like to discuss how I can take this on.”
3. Ask As If You Shall Receive: This is a mindset shift. Approach the request not from a place of begging or doubt, but from an expectation of positive reception. Visualize the successful outcome. This isn’t arrogance; it’s aligning your energy with your goal. “Ask as if you shall receive it.”
4. Persistency is Your Superpower (The Magic Rub): Rarely is a single ask enough, especially for significant goals. Be prepared to ask repeatedly and consistently. Politely follow up, reiterate your interest, provide updates on your contributions. “Keep asking repeatedly and consistently until you get it.” Like Aladdin, sometimes you need to rub the lamp more than once.
   • Example: An aspiring manager expresses her leadership goal in her annual review. She doesn’t get an immediate promotion, but she consistently seeks out stretch assignments, highlights her leadership successes in team meetings, and revisits her goal in quarterly check-ins. Her persistence demonstrates commitment and keeps her top of mind.
5. Preparation is the Foundation (Your Homework): Never walk in unprepared. “Be well prepared: do your homework well before asking for what you want.”
   • For a promotion: Compile a concrete list of your accomplishments, quantifiable results, and skills developed, explicitly mapped to the requirements of the desired role.
   • For an opportunity: Research the project, understand its challenges, and articulate exactly how your skills will contribute and what you aim to learn.
   • For a learning goal: Identify specific training courses, conferences, mentorships or one-on-one coaching program, explain their relevance to your role and the company’s goals, and propose a plan.

6. Pivot Strategically: Find the Right Lamp to Rub:Not every person holds the key to every door. If the person you ask first cannot, does not, or will not give you what you want, don’t give up – strategically redirect your ask to someone else who can help you achieve it. Persistence includes identifying the right decision-maker or influencer.
   • Example: Imagine an engineer passionate about sustainability who asks her direct manager for dedicated time and resources to research green materials for their products. Her manager, focused solely on immediate production quotas, says it’s not a current priority. Instead of abandoning her goal, she identifies the Head of Sustainability as the person whose goals directly align with her request. She prepares a concise proposal showing how her research could support the company’s long-term ESG targets and presents it to the Head of Sustainability. This leader, recognizing the value and alignment, provides the support her direct manager could not.

Your Action Plan: Becoming a Master Asker

1. Practice Relentlessly: Start small and scale up. Practice asking clearly and confidently with peers (e.g., “Can you handle this meeting while I focus on X deadline?”), subordinates (e.g., “Could you provide this analysis by Friday?”), and finally, your boss. Every ask builds your confidence and skill of asking.
2. Cultivate the “As If” Mindset: Before each request, center yourself. Visualize success. Affirm your worth and the validity of your ask. Project that belief.
3. Never Skip the Homework: Tailor your preparation to every specific request. Data, clarity, and alignment are your allies.
4. Conquer the Fear: Develop self-awareness. Acknowledge the fear of rejection, then consciously choose courage. Remember the 50% vs. 0% rule. Rejection is feedback, not failure. And feedback is the breakfast of champions.

Unleash Your Genie:

Mastering the art of asking isn’t about entitlement; it’s about agency. It’s recognizing your value, articulating your needs, and persistently pursuing your goals with confidence and preparation. It’s about rubbing the lamp and claiming your rightful wishes. Stop waiting for permission or perfect timing. Prepare meticulously, step forward with conviction, ask as if success is inevitable, and persist until you achieve what you desire. Your accelerated growth and fulfilled potential await your ask.

About Atip Muangsuwan: Atip Muangsuwan is the Founder & CEO of The Best Coach International Co., Ltd. He is a CEO & UHNWI Coach, Certified Mentor & Supervisor for global executive coaches, Holistic Life Transformation Expert, Business & Life Strategist, and Corporate Facilitator/Trainer. With a proven track record of helping clients achieve their career goals and job promotions, Atip is dedicated to supporting individuals in their personal and professional growth.