A Key to Influence Your People at Work

” To be able to influence people, we must first seek their motivation, then understand their motivation and lastly, fulfill their motivation. “

Atip Muangsuwan
CEO Coach and Coach Supervisor

From my recent coaching session with a corporate executive, she came to me with her serious issue of having unhealthy conflicts with her own direct report.

She found out that this one of her direct reports didn’t like her very much. They often sabotaged her and talked badly about her behind her back.

During our coaching session, this executive came up with an important insight and she shared her insight with me that… “I need to empathize with them by seeking to learn more about them. Try to see things from their perspective.”

I asked her one of the most powerful questions, “What is “The-one-thing” you could do that would solve your problem right away?”

She replied, “Give them more power.”

I reflected back with a question, “You mean, make them more significant, right?”

She replied, “That’s correct. They want to feel important or significant.”

Then, I shared with her, “This resonates very well with the-number-one principle from one of Dale Carnegie’s renowned books: “How win friends and influence people”, that says… “The deepest urge in human nature is… the desire to be important.” So, people want to feel important or significant in other people’s eyes.”

Then, I asked, “What comes up for you when you hear this principle?”

She responded, “I think it’s very true. Regarding my direct report case, I think they want to feel heard, valued, acknowledged and recognized by me as her boss. I think in the past, I overlooked this important point and made her feel ignored or disregarded by some of my behaviors or actions despite no intention.”

I asked, “What would you do with this new emerging insight?

She replied, “I would become more self-aware whenever I’m with them. I would give them more opportunities to shine like to present or showcase their work and initiatives company-wide. Provide more stages for them to shine their light.”

I reflected to her, “That sounds great! So, they would feel more important or significant. And I think you’ve found and understood their motivation.”

Then, I asked, “And do you think this would help solve the unhealthy conflicts between you and them?”

She responded, “I do believe it certainly would.”

I said, “That’s great to hear. Congratulations!”

And we actually found out that her subordinate really wanted to be important. That’s the root cause of their unhealthy conflicts when she didn’t accommodate that.

In conclusion, a key to influence people is to detect their motivation, then understand their motivation, and lastly, fulfill their motivation.

If you also want a key to motivate your people, then let’s talk soon!